This time around I feel grateful to be in Montreal. Two years ago I felt lucky, and a year ago I dreaded coming back.
My older and wiser friends have always told me that the third year of university is where routines start to fall in place and everyone seemingly gets into relationships. On an unrelated note, I’ve gotten into running, FINALLY cooking the majority of my meals, and listening and putting all my friends onto the Huberman Lab Podcast (lol).
Jokes aside, even though my Google Calender looks a little daunting, it’s the first time I’ve felt at peace internally in a while? I’m working part-time at a job I truly enjoy and that helped me get over my imposter syndrome of considering myself technical (this will be another #girlblog in itself). I have strong close friendships and a great support system. My apartment is beautiful in a neighbourhood I love. And my classes aren’t too bad this semester either! There’s so much to be grateful for, that even when I start off the school year with 2 weeks of illness I don’t feel that upset. Learning to be truly grateful with the life I have and learning to ask for help took me all my edgy teen years up until last year (maybe embarrasing to admit but it’s frankly true haha).
Even though the rhythm feels right, recently I’ve been feeling a little lost or that a puzzle piece is missing? Maybe it’s the result of entering my 20s very soon, but I think it’s a lot easier to have convinction on who you are and what you want when you know less. I really resonated on a quote I read from a blog by Ankit Shah.
“There is nothing in particular that has been capturing my excitement, my confidence or my desire as far as purpose and work go. The world feels bleak, but I know in my heart that it cannot be.”
I find myself constantly in search of experiencing the same feeling of “awe”, when I first read Zero to One when I was 16. Before you automatically assume that I am a Hardcore Tech Bro, I just need you to know that I read the book when I knew almost nothing about tech or startups! For context: I grew up in the Greater Toronto Area and my immigrant parents never worked office jobs and their biggest goal was for me to pursue higher education (IYKYK). The idea of having a job where dressing business casual was a requirement was my idea of making it in life as a child.
This book completely changed my worldview on what was possible and subsequently changed the trajectory of my life. Even though it sounds dramatic, it taught me at a young age that credentials and resources aren’t as big of a barrier as you think. I really internalized this notion because I got to experience so many cool things early on by just shooting my shot (cold emails)! I knew from that point on, I wanted to build something meaningful. And so many of my decisions have been made in a way where I could build a strong foundation to work on problems I want to solve.
Going back to the quote I mentioned, I know I want to solve a problem but I just don’t know what yet. Maybe this is the year where I figure it out? Maybe it will take longer. But all I know is, I’m living each day with gratitude and excited for the next.